Wednesday, June 19, 2013

After the incident i had completely lost everything. My dearest xxxxxxxx AKA xxxxxxx who have grown up with me since im 18 years and he's 15. He left me totally and left a shadow behind for me. Why am i so stupid in the first didnt open up my fucking eyes properly and stop all my rubbish actions. How i wish im the person who i am on the year 2007 when im totally myself. But now i woken up is already too late.

I lost my dearest xxxxxxxx AKA xxxxxxx ... I also lost the person i used to have a crush on 1 year ago plus he's my close friend best friend. After the words which came out from my dearest xxxxxxxx AKA xxxxxxx mouth to ask me break commuication with him it truly totally breaks from the bottom of my heart. I didnt expected all those words and i'll always remember it in my whole entire life. After this 5 years then u tell me all this i really think im a failure. And now you left to another person. No matter how hard is it i always wanted to hear from you. Always keep you in prayers everyday. But now i had woken up but is already too late. He cant hear you he cant be bother about you, All i can do is secretly love and care for him deep inside my heart without telling anybody but myself. Lying to myself daily. How i wish i can be given one last chance. JUST ONE LAST CHANCE.

I always remember what you wrote for me in the puzzle which you give me on 14022011. You said " Hope you'll remember the feeling, while piecing together this gift from me, because it is exactly the same like how you pieced up my life, bit by bit. Happy Valentines Day J♥J Love, xxxxxxxx. How i wish u can tell me once again that each sticky u ate u will miss me badly. I wish i can give you more sticky candies. I truly miss you now. I still remember this song which we played with each other on AuditionSea when we first met. Do you still remember? This the song " All For You - 쿨(COOL)" A lot of memories i kept i still remember. *sigh* Is really ALL FOR YOU.. I dont want you to be annoymous anymore...

When i always look at the puzzle i miss you so much. I teared and really hope that when i turn back one last time you're still there and run to you and hug you and say "Don't be afraid i'm here always everything is gonna be okay i wont let go of your hands anymore" All i want is this one last chance.

People always thought im always a happy person. But actually deep inside im not i have been putting on a fake smile for more than 3 weeks. Seeing you walk away from my life and see you happily with another guy. But deep down my heart i'm struggling im suffering im killing myself. Sometimes i would sit down on the bench and face the sea which is at my house nearby. I kept reflecting my life and keep blaming myself why i have to become like this why i cant be like how i was be in 3 years ago when im sincerly and care for you so much. But now everything has gone to dust.

ALL I WANT IS TO HEAR FROM YOU EVERYDAY. YOUR CALLS, YOUR TEXT, YOUR KID BEHAVIOR, MAKE ME SMILE, UNDERSTAND ME, STOOD BY ME, LOVE ME, BE WITH ME ALWAYS, ACCEPT ME ONCE AGAIN WHEN I TURN BACK YOURE STILL THERE WAITING FOR ME. AND ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS WANTED TO HEAR OUT FROM YOUR MOUTH " I LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU MUACK!!!" I WANTED TO HEAR IT SO BADLY FROM YOU. I LOVE YOU SO DEEP THAT NO ONE CAN EVER EVER CAN REPLACE YOU. I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH REALLY!!!! I HOPE THIS MESSAGE WILL GET TO YOU IF NOT IS OKAY.

TO BE HONEST I WISH YOU WILL HERE WITH ME NOW. I WANTED TO HUG U SO BAD. AND HUG YOU FROM THE BACK OF YOUR WAIST.

I ♥ YOU J FOREVER SINCE 07112007

J.A.S.O.N Run Off Hunting For Lolipops See Ya o(><)o`@* 8:40 PM

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✖キリシタン教えます✖

✖VERSE FOR TODAY IN THE BIBLE✖

ISAIAH 54:4 " Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be disgraced,for you will not be put to shame; For you will forget the shame of your Youth, And will not rememeber the reaproach of your widowhood anymore."

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✖動物のです✖

✖ J.A.S.O.N Says "CANT YOU JUST FEED HIM"✖

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ニックネーム名前(Name): J.A.S.O.N

通称名前(Nick Name) : Joker,T-Яex/Dino,Sushi Boii,小勝

本ニックネーム名前 : 永山廣勝

誕生年月日(First Cry):冬季1989年十二月二日生まれ (02 Decemember 1989)

年齢(Age): 23 Years Old

性別ました(Sex):男性 (Male)

出身地: Singapore

独身いますか(Status):独身です(Single)

星座ました:いて座(Saggitarius)

宗教:(Religion): キリシタン(Christian)

きょうかい(Church): NEW CREATION CHURCH Singapore

職業ました(Occupation):学生 (Student)

国籍(Citizen):シンガポールの(Singaporean)

サイズ身長(Height):184cm++

血液型(Blood Type)：がたがたのA+型

相談しました(MSN) : rulezjr2003@hotmail.com

好きなバンド(Favourite Band) : ガゼット (Gazette)

好きな:どういう意味ですか

学校です(School):SHATEC

体育です: Hockey Village Muay Thai or One World Muay Thai Centre

✖J.A.S.O.N Is✖

☠ - A Boii Who Loves イエズス(Jesus)

☠ - A Boii Who Loves his didi forever

☠ - A Boii Who Loves his future Boyfriend or Girlfriend

☠ - A Boii Who Loves to Fight

☠ - A Boii Who Looks Old even though he is only 23 Years Old

☠ - A Boii Who Loves Fashion

☠ - A Boii Who is Idiotic

☠ - A Boii Who is Ugly

☠ - A Boii Who Loves Yoshi

☠ - A Boii Who Loves to be Childish

☠ - A Boii Who Loves to be Playful

☠ - A Boii Who Loves to do Volunteer Work

☠ - A Boii Who Loves to CosPlay

☠ - A Boii Who is A Volunteer for YMCA and MINDS Centre (Clementi)

☠ - A Boii Who is A Joker

☠ - A Boii Who is A Rocker

☠ - A Boii Who is A Muay Thai (Thai Boxing) Figher

☠ - A Boii Who Loves to Sing

☠ - A Boii Who loves this J-rock Visual-Kei band "The Gazette (ガゼット)"

☠ - A Boii Who loves J-Rock Visual Kei Band

☠ - A Boii Who is always dammed sick in the mind

☠ - A Boii Who Loves J-rock,J-pop,Metalcore songs

☠ - A Boii Who Loves Christian Metalcore Songs

☠ - Ask me more

✖愛してしました✖

✖ J.A.S.O.N Cherishes and Love✖

GOD(Jesus Christ)

Mummy and Daddy cause they raise him up and gave him a lot of care and love for 23+ years

Family

Dearest Didi

My future Boyfriend or Girlfriend (if there is)

Friends

Church Brother's

✖趣味✖

✖ J.A.S.O.N Likes 。。。✖

Fashion and clothing

Travel Around The World

Give a Heart to the Needys

Chocolate

Coffee

Lolipop

Singing

Compose songs write lyrics

Joke around with friends

J-rock songs and bands

Shinchan and Yoshi dammed much

Train Thai Boxing (Muay Thai)

Go to Gym Work Out

Watch Dramas and Anime

Watch Movies

Listen to music

Shopping

Surf Net

Go beach(gives me peace freedom)

✖嫌悪✖

✖ H.i.Я.O.k.i Hates 。。。✖

Hair Messy

Touch My Hair

Slap My Dammed Face

People who cheat my feelings

People Who Hurt My feelings

Miscommunication/Misunderstood

Judge my Looks and appearence

Myself

My attitude

~~Im fat~~

Beat My Head

Tummy

Hurts me

Leave me alone and dont care for me at all

Trouble makers

Break Promises

Disturb me

Look down on people

Bully my friends

Play My feelings

Cockroaches

Things which done cant be success and come true

Backstabbers

Play Tircks on me

Used Me for Doing Things Are unreasonable

Liars

Proud People

Betrayer

BackStabbers

Curse Me

Blame me for no reasons

Give me attitude when they are unhappy

✖私の願う✖

✖ J.A.S.O.N Hopelist 。。。✖

Able to manage his financial and know to save up $

Fitter Body

6 Packs/hard abs

More Clothing

More casual clothing from TOPMAN

Be A lecturer after getting his Degree

Be Able to form a Visual Kei Rock/Metalcore band with 4 memebers who have the same interest of songs as me

To Have A New Rocker Hairstyle After Army/NS

Active in Church and Christian life

Follow God till the end and Commited more to GOD

Fire MORE x3 for GOD

Non believer's will come and SAY YES TO JESUS and be saved

Tan/Dark and fair skin

Have a Boyfriend to have my future all the way

My Mum and dad and family stay happy always

✖夢のチカラ✖

✖ H.i.Я.O.k.i Dreamlist 。。。✖

~~Love and Care~~
(Only God gave me the love i need)

A Pet Dog

A family car that can able to drive around with family

Learn Mix Martial Arts after i ORD

Able to particpate into International Competition for my MMA or Muay Thai

My Mr Right (:

Fitter Body

Six Packs

~~Back to normal cheerful boy~~

~~Book from Pastor Joseph Prince "Destined To Reign"~~

~~White Pony Sharp Shoe~~

~~Shinchan and Shiro Hp Strap~~
((T.T) is broken)

~~Finish my BMT & POP (:~~

~~Finish Security Troopers course~~

~~Finish my Security Troopers course 2~~

~~Receive my Infantry Green Beret~~

Finish my Army "ORD" (:

Sign On with Singapore Armed Forces if possible I must consider

A Dumb bell to train my muscles

~~EMPORIO ARMANI EYEWEAR Specs~~

A new pair of Nike/Converse Shoe

~~Be With and Love God in His Kingdom~~

~~Being Water Batiszed With The Name of "Joshua~~

~~More Lolipops~~

Rich as in stable finance

~~Have more than 4 Credit and Debit Csrd with $~~

~~New Specs~~

~~A new Wallet from Wallet Shop~~

~~No bad lucks and good lucks forever~~

~~No family problems~~

~~Get myself to promote/study in Higher Nitec~~

~~Graduate my studies in ITE~~

~~Receive my Higher NITEC certificate and results~~

~~Hair Highted~~

~~A best friend/close friend have a friendship just like brothers and friendship~~

~~Learn Muay Thai(Thai Boxing)~~

~~Particpate in Campus Superstar 2009~~

~~New Nike SB shoes from limited edition~~

~~Colour Contact Lens~~

A punching bag at home

~~Nokia N95~~(I lost it at Bus!!!)

~~Apple iPod-touch~~(I lost it at Camp!!!)

~~Apple(MAC BOOK) Labtop~~

~~PSP 3000~~

~~Hair Straightener~~

~~Dark skin~~

~~Travel to Hong Kong On July~~

~~Travel to China on July~~

~~Travel to Macau on July~~

~~Trip back to Japan on June~~

~~Travel to Vietnam~~

~~Travel to Cambodia to help Orphanage~~

Be a Fashion Designer

A Model LOL!!!

SONY CYBER SHOT Digital Camera - $489 plus

PlayStation 3

Get Slim and Stay Slim Forever

Hugo Boss Perfume

Gotic wear clothing

Dress up like J-rocker

A new Bag From Crumpler

A Pencil Case from Wallet Shop

A driving licences

A Personal Car

Hairstyle change and rebon at "KIMAGE" After My Army

Back to work in NTUC BM after finish my Army

Singing Contract With any Album Company

Get A Dipolma Cert from SHATEC

Get A Degree Cert from SIM Uni or Murdoch University

Get A Master Degree (Maybe)

Be A Lecturer/Teacher in ITE or in Local Polytechnics

A Song Writer

A Singer

To Perform and sing and release own debut album

My Future Visual-Kei Band "MaveMare" with 5 person to be formed,become famous the whole international and realise albums

Vocalist or Drummer for my band

A Condominum or house that can stay with my parents in the future

Meet ガゼット (Gazette)

Electric Guitar

Acoustic Guitar

Learn Electric & Acoustic Guitar

Learn Piano

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✖ J.A.S.O.N Plan For This Week Is!✖

☠ Not at the time ☠

✖友達好きだよ✖